Thursday, October 11, 2007

cheater

anyone who has heard my description of last saturday's events knows that my little honda is undergoing some surgery at the moment. my poor car had a BIG scratch on its right side...but on the whole, its cosmetic appearance has been on the decline for a while. there's a dent from a friend opening my car door too quickly and too forcefully against a pole in my garage, some scratches on the front bumber where the dealership drive it against a curb, and the scratches on the back bumper where i backed into those annoying rocks with which people edge their yards to prevent parking, (i HATE those rocks) among other things. point being that i've been feeling a little self-conscious about the look of my fairly young car...this is same car that came back from the repair-shop once upon a time with teeny-tiny pockmarks in the paint, making me cry because my new baby had its first blemishes. so, when the rental car employee picks me up in a new aura, i immediately start to notice this sleek, new acquaintance. the adjustable seatbelt height...the ignition coordinating with the radio and the transmission coordinating with the doorlocks...the way i can open the sunroof and trunk with the push of the alarm button. i even like the more subtle click of the tune signal. suddenly, i sense myself starting to lust after this new car...i like it's smell...it's look in the driveway...the way i feel in the driver's seat. and the thing is, i HAD a saturn...and i HATED it. but i LOVE this car. and i am beginning to devise a plan for how i can keep this car, instead of my honda...some sneaky reason why i deserve the upgrade. it seems only reasonable that the garage and the rental place will go along with this plan.

but this afternoon, i made one observation: the aura's fuel gauge. in only two days, i have used over a third of a tank of gas. this is NOT normal. given my usual driving habits, i can drive over two weeks on one tank of gas in my honda. thus, the aura is flawed. and as i am sitting there, embraced by the cushions of this unfamiliar travel companion, i have this overwhelming feeling that i have been cheating on my car. and i genuinely feel guilty. do i admit this infidelity to my honda...or do i just pretend it never happened?

in any case, i miss you, baby. looking forward to having you back.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

addicted

so, i just got home from a fantastic show tonight. dashboard confessional. was a solo performance with chris carrabba (singer) and john lefler (guitarist). i grew up with john lefler's little brother and spent a fair amount of time at the lefler household back in the day. turns out pappa lefler was at the performance...was nice to stop and say hello. and the concert was fantastic. i mean, REALLY good. more on that later...

i get home and what's on TV but 'sleepless in seattle.' and i swear, i cannot see that movie on television without stopping to watch it. and every time i watch it, i cry bucketloads. doesn't matter if i see the whole thing or the last ten minutes, i cry...EVERY SINGLE TIME. i LOVE that movie. that's all.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

morgan for president

so, i've gotten more and more interested in video commentaries on film DVDs. i especially enjoy listening to the commentary by the directors...getting perspective on why a scene was shot this way or that. what that tiny little prop in the background meant to the scene, the actors in the scene, or even just the crew. the odd costuming choices...or the happy mistakes that become the moments of brilliance. basically, all the little details that don't even hit our register when first watching a film. the first time i really took the time to watch a director commentary on a film was several years ago with 'american beauty.' and the moment i knew these commentaries were invaluable to me even as a stage director was when sam mendes described one of the opening scenes in which lester (kevin spacey) is talking to a client on the phone at work while looking in his computer screen. the scene is shot from behind, so we see lester's face as a reflection on the screen. and mendes was talking about how the text on the screen originally ran horizontally... until he decided to try several narrow columns of text running across the screen. the effect? when you see lester's face reflected in the screen along with the text, he appears to be behind bars... imprisoned. this moment lasts for no longer than 2 minutes. i can't say i consciously noticed this choice when watching the movie, but these details surely resonate with us on a subconscious level. subtle, but brilliant.

so, last night, after getting home from a gala, i decided i would watch the brand new 'special edition/feature' DVD of 'se7en' i just bought. (perhaps not the best movie to watch after a stressful day and right before bed.) in any case, i am now watching the commentary involving morgan freeman, brad pitt, and david fincher, the director. and let me just say that i have always been a brad pitt fan...not because he's attractive (frankly, he's not my type), but because i think he is a really intelligent actor. especially in his smaller roles, he brings a depth of character that is fairly rare...i'm thinking 'snatch' or '12 monkeys.' david fincher is a bit less articulate than some of the other directors i've heard. i knew that he had directed 'fight club,' but what i didn't know was that he started out primarily as a video director in the 80's and 90's. sting, paula abdul, madonna, etc. interesting. suddenly, the opening titles of 'seven' (set to NIN's 'closer') make sense style-wise. still, fincher's very pragmatic approach is interesting to hear. BUT (and this is what makes this DVD worth every penny) morgan freeman is also included in this commentary...and actors, if you haven't listened to freeman talk about character development, you need to. every time i hear that man speak, i am convinced he is a genius. he IS indeed far closer to the character he plays in 'se7en' than one might think in terms of education. the first movies i remember associating with morgan freeman as a child were 'glory,' 'driving miss daisy,' 'lean on me,' and most significantly, 'the power of one.' (if you have not read or seen 'the power of one,' i suggest you do so. amazing story and film.) freeman has always struck me with this profound sense of wisdom and dignity...it's really pervasive in every character he plays. so, back to the commentary...

fincher and pitt are discussing the scene in which sommerset (freeman) puts it together that the murders are associated with the seven deadly sins. and he's listing the sins off his fingers to the others. and the way he does so is so deliberate and elegant. and both pitt and fincher remark on this...as well as the deep, resonant quality of his voice. 'the god voice,' so to speak. and fincher continues to say that he thought freeman was an excellent casting choice for president in 'deep impact'...and that he would vote for him. YES! some of you know i have been saying morgan freeman should run for president for YEARS. is this ridiculous? well, is it any more ridiculous than ronald reagan? ...or the clown we have in office currently? if i could any one person who, on image alone, could have a serious shot at randomly running for political office, it would be morgan freeman. so... why not? morgan for president!

interesting related fincher quote: "I don't know how much movies should entertain. To me, I'm always interested in movies that scar. The thing I love about Jaws is the fact that I've never gone swimming in the ocean again."

best quote from se7en: "just because the fucker has a library card doesn't make him yoda."

Saturday, October 6, 2007

off the grid: my new thoughts on immigration

let me preface this blog with the suggestion that some might find it offensive. that being said, i'm very upset. here is why:

today, i was involved in a hit and run accident. i was driving along travis street...a detour i took to avoid traffic on the way to help out with my friend's theatre company's gala. while driving in the far left lane, i get hit by a car to my right as we are crossing west alabama. as soon as i can take stock of what happened, the car had backed up and sped off down west alabama. this happened so fast that i couldn't get a good look at the license plate. not content with this injustice, my temper got the best of me, and i took off on a wild chase to catch up with this bastard. so, i started my car back up and followed him. he managed to get through a red light right before me...so he was quite a ways ahead. i suppose he thought he was safe, but i kept an eye on him as he drove away down alabama. i was able to see where he turned off...at some point, he became aware of my following him and started driving faster. but finally, i was able to trap him between two cars...at which point, i parked my car in such a way that he was blocked and couldn't drive away.

sidenote: i realize this was absolute insanity. had this man been violent, i could be dead right now.

so, he got out of the car. and i gave him a piece of my mind. of course, as soon as i stand up out of my car, my legs start to wobble and give out under me. (shock setting in.) but i am so angry that i will not get back in my car for fear of his driving off again. regarding the man who hit me...hispanic. didn't speak english. driving what appeared to be a fairly new potiac grand prix. all new stickers. we will call this man joe for the sake of discussion.

joe couldn't understand anything i was saying. i told him i thought it was pretty terrible that he hit me and then, drove away. blank stare. no response. fortunately, he wasn't angry. it was only when i told him that i was going to call the police that his ears perked up. 'policia?!'

'si.'

so, i call the police, because at this point, i become increasingly convinced that i am going to be out of luck in this situation. that joe won't have insurance...nor any way to compensate me for the damage done to my car. the whole right side of my car is smashed...what appears to be thousands of dollars of damage. how on earth will joe pay for it? in any case, i want a police report. i speak very slowly and make big gestures of getting his license plate number and pictures of the car. in other words, i wanted to make it very clear that he shouldn't try to leave again. the police operator suggests that i only get his license plate and file a report at the station later. i'm stubborn and don't accept this suggestion. the operator tells me it will be a bit, since there was a disturbance to which several officers were responding. i tell her that's OK...that i will wait. (honestly, i would rather the police potentially prevent someone from getting hurt before they come to me.)

so, eventually my dad shows up, as well as the police probably 30 minutes later. the first police officer who shows up gets all the basic information from me, but is at a loss since she doesn't speak any spanish. finally, a second officer arrives who does. he divines that joe:
a. doesn't have insurance
b. doesn't have a valid texas driver's license
c. has only an expired mexican license

in other words, there is a 95% chance joe is illegal. i ask the officers if he is. one gives me a dry look and said, 'what do you think? but, thanks to our dear mayor, we can't ask or we'll get fired.'

sidenote #2: i appreciate that joe is being cooperative. i also find out that he is only 23...although i would have guessed mid-thirties, as he looks much older. as mad as i am about my car and the fact that i will most likely be paying out of my pocket for something that wasn't my fault, a part of me feels very sorry for joe. he's probably just some young, stupid kid who is scared. however, i don't want to paint him as an unfortunate, as his clothes and car did not suggest that he was financially struggling in the dire sense.

anyways...the police are civil to joe, but ticket him on 3 accounts:
a. moving into my lane and colliding
b. failure to have insurance
c. failure to have a driver's license

i ask about fleeing the scene. the officer tells me that since i actually caught him, they can't ticket him for it. go figure.

at some point, the spanish-speaking officer tells me that joe has mentioned paying for the damages to my car. he suggests i take the offer, but that i be careful about how i handle it. the other officer gives me some 'off the record' advice...that i invoke the name of the police to get the payment from joe. i think it is probably unwise to get falsely hopeful. this was someone who tried fleeing the scene...is it likely this is necessarily someone who will fulfill his debts? in any case, the officer suggests i threaten to show up on his court date. i don't like this kind of game-playing, but i am also not keen on being held accountable for the whole accident. what is the right thing to do?

but the whole matter leads me to my bigger point: illegal aliens. folks, i am as sympathetic to the cause as i can be. i believe immigration should be possible for people of all extractions... from any country, etc. but this can be accomplished legally. i do not suggest it is easy, but can we really be tolerant of people living off the grid? i was just telling someone the other day about my affinity for mexico city. it's irrational, but i would have to say that i prefer dirty, crowded mexico city to any other place i've traveled. why? because i got this incredible rush being there. it was exciting...but profoundly scary. why was it scary? because standing in the crowded zocalo, i had the sensation that i could have been ripped off the street, dragged down a remote alleyway, and NEVER heard from again. in a lawless land like mexico, it is possible to fall completely off the grid. and while terrifying, i was fascinated by this feeling. it made everything immediate and amplified the feeling of being alive...survival.

having come back from mexico city, i tried to explain that sensation to my friends who had never been there. and i failed miserably, since i couldn't compare to anything else i had experienced. it was only when i watched the denzel washington movie 'man on fire' that i finally had any point of comparison. the first scene features someone getting abducted from the zocalo...and THAT feeling of terror is exactly what i was trying to express.

today's experience made me think of things in a different light. there is no easy solution to the illegal immigrant problem. but can we just be lenient? should houston be a refuge for illegal immigrants? i feel it important to stress that these sentiments are not influenced by prejudice. i strongly feel that the ethnic diversity of houston is part of what makes it so special. and furthermore, i have the utmost respect for those immigrants who go through the painstaking process of becoming legal. but had i taken the operators advice today, i would have had an absolutely meaningless license plate number. a license plate number that couldn't be connected to a driver's license...nor any person. why? because there was no driver's license. so, a person like myself is left with absolutely no recourse at all. no way to seek justice. mind you, this was a car accident...what if it had been a rape or murder? how can we pursue someone or punish someone who, according to our records, doesn't exist?

i think we should all think carefully about this situation before we get up in arms either way about the immigration problem. consider how you might feel the next time a 'nonexistent' person attacks you, steals your things, or hits your car and tries to run. i am left torn...not knowing how best to proceed. i have no desire to cause trouble for joe or his family...but should he not have some responsibility towards me? should he not have some responsibility to follow our city's laws, as someone enjoying the benefits of living here?

nothing in this world comes for free. if you leave one country for something better, that, too, comes at a price...should it not be the price of legally calling yourself an american?