disjointed part 2: why whole foods bites

whole foods.
man, i am starting to hate me some whole foods.
for real.
how is it that 2 people can go to whole foods for some lunch in the prepared foods section and leave $30 later? lunch for two? what? wtf. i have had a love/hate relationship with whole foods from day one. i LOVE the fruit section. just walking through inspires me to eat more greens...and their fruit always looks delicioso. so i buy a bunch of it and take it home...only to have that all-natural, pesticide-free, organic greenery turn brown before i have a chance to eat it. it's the equivalent of a produce prick-tease. not to mention the fact that you pay twice as much for it. and then, there's the prepared foods. in college, i used to love to make the trek to whole foods for the bento boxes. 3 sides and a main dish from their asian foods section in a box to go for $5.99. (the teryaki sweet potatoes are enough to send me reeling.) sound too good to be true? of course. because as soon as it became a habit, they discontinued the fresh bento boxes. to be replaced by the pre-packaged variety in which you get one or two of your favorite choices, but not all. of course. and why? 'consistency from store to store,' says the boy behind the counter. OK.

so, i resent whole foods for a while. i boycott. but the seed-duction bread and chipotle hummus lure me back. once again. (that and the bigger selection of 'ethnic gourmet' dinners.) so then, i get turned on to this sandwich there. roasted turkey, spinach greens, brie, and cranberry jam...on what? seed-duction bread. i would crave this sandwich...and would drive to whole foods during lunch for it. i campaigned in my office...endeavored to spread the gospel of this delicious turkey sandwich to my friends and coworkers. and suddenly, the sandwich suddenly disappeared off the shelves. this happens around february. 'ok,' i think. 'it's a winter-time sandwich. cranberry evoke memories of dressing. etc etc etc.' so, i imagine this sandwich is a seasonal thing and will magically appear come labor day. right? wrong!!!

so, today...i emerge from my kingdom of sick to get lunch. because i literally have the most batcheloresque fridge in existence at the moment. i don't even have cans of green beans to eat. and i get excited at the prospect of my beloved turkey sandwich in my belly. and yet again, empty shelf where they used to lie. so, perhaps a bit cranky and over-medicated, i march over to the sandwich counter and ask about it. something along the lines of 'when are you guys going to put the best sandwich you've ever made back on the shelves?' and this guy looks at me with this cold expression and says, 'like, never.' then, he smirks. and unsatisfied with this answer, i press further. 'why not?' i ask. he replies, 'because we were losing money on that sandwich.' it was $6.99, by the way. 'how so?' i ask. i mean, $7 seems reasonable, right? i mean, not a cheap sandwich by grocery store standards. he answers, 'in order to meet our profit margin, that sandwich would need to cost $14."

*pause*

ok, wtf?! i wasn't going to shoot the messenger, but what?! whole foods has done lost its mind. what kind of profit are we talking about at $14?! but the bigger point being this: i am kind of mad that i am not, at the very least, given a choice. so, i wouldn't spend $14 on a daily basis for this sandwich, but i wouldn't mind splurging on it every once in a while. i mean, it's up for debate on whether people would pay $14 for this sandwich. seriously...it was a really good sandwich.

how did this little escapade end? by my opting for a thai chicken wrap and some smart water. but the kicker? they no longer carry smart water...and have since replaced it with their own brand of lightly flavored water. bah humbug.

whole foods is the new walmart.