Pet Peeve #23

I don't oftentimes air the trivial, everyday annoyances that get under my skin. Time wasted on negativity is time wasted indeed. However, I will go ahead and air a few of my grievances on this blog, because...well, because I can.

I will start with the arbitrary number 23. Surely, there are at least 22 other things that have annoyed me up to this point. No need to dwell in the past... so, onwards to #23.

#23 Evite Followup

Evite is a convenient little website that allows one to create an invitation to be disseminated to numerous people at once, replacing the old-fashioned, time-consuming practice of writing or engraving individual invitations to be mailed. Not only do you not have to waste money on postage or rely on the postal service, but the recipient need not mail back a reply card or keep track of a tricky little off-sized invitation. Everything is handled with ease, with all pertinent information stored on a website that may be referenced countless times. Trees saved. Time saved. Everyone is happy.

SO WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE STILL TEXT OR CALL YOU 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE EVENT WONDERING WHERE IT IS, WHEN IT IS, AND HOW TO GET THERE, ETC?! *

I want to say, "Check the damn Evite, you numskull!"

*I make exceptions for a few people in extenuating circumstances. These are:

1. You don't own a computer or have email access. Ever. The fact that you nevertheless have an email address is purely inconsequential.
2. You have recently had a lobotomy and can't remember your Evite log in info.
3. You have a bad case of amnesia due to some terrible fall you suffered as a child and have found yourself stuck in a remote place (perhaps a desert island) where you are unable to check the evite the day of the event.
4. You are an avid disciple of Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post and Evites are against your religion, as well as any other signs of social and technological progress or gender equality.

Corollary #1: Directions to Events

If you are already online, why not look it up? Why are you asking me 5 minutes beforehand? Why are you asking 5 minutes before, for instance, a play... a play that I am IN... a play in which, 5 minutes beforehand, I am probably in costume. BACKSTAGE! Does a text asking me for directions really seem appropriate at that point? And if you own any kind of portable online device, why are you asking ME? Isn't the point of those little contraptions that you won't have to bug your friends with questions like that? If you don't make full use of that handy little gadget, why don't you just be so kind as to give it to ME? :)

There. I have spoken.